I've become an old lady. This month's Cosmo features a section on "50 sexy ways to touch him there"... So I'm reading the first 13 ways (out loud and to the boyfriend) which are very explicit and interesting and turn the page. Ways 14-23 are ways to fondle his balls. Ways 24-38 are the most vivid descriptions of how to give a blow job. Ways 39-50 are a variety of crap but can we focus on the fact that there is a ****ing instruction manual to blow jobs in Cosmo?
"26 Lie flat on a bed with your head hanging backward over the side as he stands facing you. Take his penis into your mouth; use your hands on his waist to control his thrusting. It's an easy way to give him some deep throat action without triggering a wicked gag reflex."
****ing cliff notes.
I think most 14 year old girls have picked up their mother's Cosmo.
I'm an old lady. While I'm not opposed to any of the 50 ways in any way, I think I'm offended.
"I'd rather you hate me for everything I am.
Than have you love me for something that I can't."