[Gonzo]

Heh...

True story.

I was 9, the neighborhood bully was 11. He was a chubby hispanic kid. I was a skinny little guy.
Anywho,
He used to beat the crap out of me regularly and I had never really learned how to fight.
Finally, one day I asked my dad what to do.
He told me the following,
"Next time this kid is going to give you a beat down, strike first. Punch him square in the nose as hard as you can. He may still beat your ass, but he will think twice about it beforehand."
Ten minutes later I walk outside. This fat little bastard rides by on his bike. I run after him and he stops. Next thing he knows, he's knocked off his bike, on the ground crying like a bitch with a bloddy nose. My old man saw the whole thing, he runs out and grabs me. We walked inside and he's laughing hysterically, (although trying not to).
He looks at me and says, "Not quite what I meant son."

A half hour later, the kids dad rings our door bell. Dad answers and the guy is going off on my dad, calling me a little bully etc. My dad tells him, "You want some of the same?"
That ended that.