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Dude....you need to talk to someone.....and that person is not on a message board. It's one thing to not let her go because of what happened to you. But it's a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT thing to not get over her because you're still ****ing her.
Go talk to a professional......a counselor....a pastor....****ing anyone who can help you sort through this shit. You're hanging out in a downward spiral....and it's not going to get better.
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