Went to Puerto Vallarta with a frat brother and his two friends from HS. We get schwasted a lot, ran with a group of three Michigan/Chicago dudes who were a little strange at times. First night on the town I went comatose after only a few drinks (nothing would wake me up; slaps to the face, being posed with in pictures et cetera) and had to be Kellen Winslow'ed to the resort. Next night was a foam party, it was sufficiently foamy, got rejected by a hot Mexican girl. Night after that was Zoo, where we had front row seats for the stripper pole contest. I got rejected by an American girl, and later found out my frat brother was telling girls I was gay. Uncool. The Chicago guys' vacation was done at this point so they didn't go back out with us.
Night after that we went back to the same club I went comatose at and had a better time, made friends with a group of Mexicans using the best broken Spanish I could muster. American trio setting next to our both were from Cali; girl was a participant in the stripper pole contest, I learned. When I informed her boyfriend she was off dancing with other people he replied "Eh, it's all right. She likes girls too." I was a little aback. After pounding drinks (one shot was made double strong at the amusement of our waiter) I heard a David Guetta song, and with intoxicated and glasses-less eyes I grabbed the best looking dame I could see in the shortest distance and began grinding. Apparently this lasted for about two hours; I missed the conversation with the British girls were one tried to work game on one of the guys I was rolling with in saying "You look like Wayne Rooney". Poor chap was vodka+cranberry sick and he refused to dance, realizing any movement would illicit vomiting. End of the night the fratbrother went home without me and the other two guys, I managed to get the girl I was dancing with's number (Mexican/American girl from Chicago, incidentally) and the Wayne Rooney look alike puked in the bathroom. We got a cab back and that was the end of that.
Night after that we stayed at the resort. Three of us finished the remaining 30~ beers left. Fratbrother punched me square in the [i]bottom/i] of my nutsack for absolutely no reason. My revenge will not be proportional. Our final night we went out to the Malecon to eat; the fratbrother and the guy who just finished his freshman year of college got suckered into Zoo for 2-for-1 beer "special" by a scantily clad female working for the club. They really, really wanted Bud Light. I was ashamed. The upside was that we watched Game 6 of the Suns/Lakers series to dramatic effect.
Then we had to wake up at 5:00am to catch the 8:00am flight back to the states. I was back home by 10:00pm.
- credit goes to BoneKrusher for the pic
Chiefs 2015 Opponents
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