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Dear Sarah, I need to know that you will be a productive wife. I will have to put you to work on the farm for a 3 month trial period before I can marry you. Your responsibilities will include cleaning up afterbirth from newly farrowed sows , scooping hog shit into a bucket and disposing of properly, maintaining the filter in the slurry pit , training the young boars to get hand jobs and fixing lunch for the employees. If you pass the test I'll consider.
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