Originally Posted by The Elder
Time to talk about this movie. If you dont wanna know anything about it then stop reading now.
Okay. What we have here is a man (Danny Trejo) that in real life is a bad ass. A tough kid that grew up to be the prison boxing champ and was given a break. We have seen him 100's of times and you really dont know his name. But he is that BAD ASS mexican dude with alot of Ink on his body. And he is one ugly M***er F***er. The man finally has a leading role and takes full advantage of it. He is set up to be the fall guy and he is not too happy about it. Its like they crossed The Expendables and Piranna 3D into one movie. Full of action and blood and some really campy moments. It actually our Grindhouse's Grindouse. lol. This is the movie they should have made instead.
Very 70's with a modern twist. And the absolutly hottest woman on the planet, Michelle Rodriguez goes beyond anything she has ever done. Her part alone allows me to forgive them for having Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba in this film. Neither of which can act. Alba should stick to calenders and Lohan should just go away. However. Jesssica Alba naked in the shower does have its perks. Machete gets nail her (what a lucky ugly man). COme to think of it. Linsay Lohan and her mom (in the movie) are both naked in the pool anf Machete gets the two of them at the same time (what a really lucky ugly man). And then there is Michelle Rodriguez and the SOB gets to bump his ugly with her too. (Pity she didnt get naked) but what a really really lucky man.
Cheech Marin, who plays Machete's brother is now a priest and has one of the best lines in the movie, I reslove you of all your sins now get the f**k out of here." LOL.
Robert De Niro is awesome as a racsist political asshole and you can tell he is having fun in the movie. He really gets to cut loose. Also Steven Seagal is our favorit drug dealer that is in control of everything and has a really vicious side. And he finally lost the ponytail.
The movie deals with some strong political opinions and will offend some. But most should accept the movie for what it is. A kickass good time
That settles it; I'm going to the theater.