[bowener]

I think that the whistle should never be blown, and the clock continuously rolls upward... sort of like starting from 0 and counting toward 60 minutes.

If you commit a foul the ball will be placed in the corner closest, one player must hurl the ball back into the field of play, however, no other players are allowed to use their hands upon the ball entering the field of play until at least 3 players from both teams have crab walked no less than 5 yards with the ball in their lap.

Since this is a live ball, other players are allowed to beat the shit out of the crab walking players to try and jar the ball loose.

If a player intentionally harms another player a 2 of Clubs will be drawn and the player will be escorted to the penalty bench. Once on the penalty bench the player must stay seated on said bench while the penalty-Cam monitors their actions for no less than 5 minutes and no more than 12 minutes and forty-two seconds.
[addendum to above rule: The "penalty-Cam" will watch penalized player unless there is either a Favre-Cam or Tebow-Cam already present at the contest; in the prior stated circumstance an emergency TV timeout will be called by the umpire to allow ESPN to properly adjust coverage for maximum over exposure. Farve and/or Tebow are exempt from all possible penalties.]