[BigRedChief]

Once upon a quite cold January,
Contrary to pundit beliefs,
A team came to the Midwest prairie,
To do battle with the Chiefs.

Ravens was their franchise called,
And defense was their fame.
A thousand teams their D had mauled,
One more, that was their aim.

Into Arrowhead they strolled,
With confidence and bluster.
They said, "We'll shut down Cassel cold,
And then we'll kill McCluster!"

With great bravado did they claim;
"We're picked by ESPN.
After all, we've won 12 games,
And you have won just 10."

Then during warmups did the sound,
Of thousands reach to heaven.
As onto the fierce, frozen ground,
Did run the number seven.

Onto the field did Cassel trot,
His bright red helmet gleaming.
And gave coach Haley's ass a swat,
And then he began screaming.

Then did those present start to roar,
A tumult resonated.
When Jamaal himself came through the door,
His hair worn long and plated.

Next came Bowe and Moeaki,
And Jones and then came Waters.
Then Albert, then Cox looking stocky,
And ready for a slaughter.

The Sea of Red became a din,
As Chiefs took their places.
The defense eager for a win,
You could see in in their faces.

The coin was tossed, the Chiefs deferred,
"Let's play some defense boys!
Haley's mic then overheard,
"Let's play with skill and poise!"

Then Flacco dropped back for a pass,
And Hali turned the corner.
What's that? It's Flacco on his ass!
(He sure ain't no Kurt Warner.)

And then the Ravens tried to run,
The handoff almost muffed.
Into the line their halfback spun,
And promptly he was stuffed.

The first of many punts to come,
Was then kicked to McCluster.
Who ran it back for 81,
Herm said, "Their O is flustered."

Then hell itself did rain down hard,
As Cassel tossed the ball.
To the blazing buzz saw shard,
That Chiefs fans call Jamaal.

Jamaal ran over Raven clowns,
With wings flew down the field.
And after seven touchdowns,
Did Haley yell out, "Yield!".

"Or I'll call such a freaking play,
It will scorch your sad asses,
So bad instead you'll wish this day,
You'd been attending Masses!"

Ray Lewis cried, "No mas! No mas!
I'm hurtin' like a bitch!
I think that last blocker was
The spirit of T-Rich!"

"And now my left eye socket's broke,
And now so is my nose,
Can't move my legs, this ain't no joke,
Help me up, my bros!"

Then Suggs said, "Help yourself, 'ol bud,
I now have my own issues.
I think that what's left of my spleen,
Has come through my ass tissue!"

With half their players dead or dying,
The Ravens game turned shitty.
Ray said, "Concede! There's no use trying,
Let's get out of Kansas City!"

Twas then our foes abandon care,
Twas then the Ravens panicked.
And scattered for the airport where,
They could fly to the Atlantic.

But Haley and the Chiefs pursued,
And with great hue and cry.
Kicked the asses of that brood,
All the way to KCI.

And so it was in that cold weather,
The Chiefs kicked Ravens' butts.
While Haley kept a few tail feathers,
And Shawn Smith kept some nuts.

Penned by FAX