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it could be an ass smear from the time that phildo shat himself at the dinner table of his parents house. The chances of the poop splatter being perfectly symmetrical on each side of the ass crack are very low. If so that takes talent and those drawers should be framed.
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1 Thessalonians 5:3
“For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.”
KJV
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