[Bowser]

Originally Posted by Gonzo

1755 hrs. Lumpy arrives to domicile.
1755:44 hrs. Gonzo ducks for cover.
1759 hrs. Toddler cries because Lumpy took his stuffed Elmo and ripped its arms off.
1802 hrs. Lumpy decides to go on a cleaning spree, Gonzo is still hiding underneath stairwell.
1840 hrs. Domicile is nearly spotless due to rage infected cleaning spree. The feline inhabitant of said domicile was 'meowing, then sudden silence. I fear it may be in the oven.
1849 hrs. I heard a loud slamming noise, followed by several expletives. I don't think the girl scouts will ever be back. So much for this years supply of thin mints.
1905 hrs. I slowly, (almost ninja-like) abandoned my secret bunker to make sure my child was still moving. He plays possum when scared. I found him huddled in the delapidated dog house outside singing the Elmo's world song over and over again. This will take years of therapy.
1911 hrs. I noticed several steak knives were gone and her laptop was open. On the screen was the google entry for the John Bobbit case file.
1917 hrs. I have decided to check into a hotel with my son, an armless Elmo toy and a shaved cat. I will keep you all updated.
Pray for me.