How funny ...
A good friend of mine actually invented this product. At the time he invented it, it was called "The Big Jammer". It came in a kit with a bunch of other junk to secure windows, sliding doors, your socks, anything really you wanted to secure for $19.95 plus shipping and handling.
He sold the deal, though, and I don't know who he sold it to. Maybe you could try modifying a golf club? Do you have a welding torch?