Originally Posted by mcan
Sounds like you started out as a part of the solution, and are now part of the problem. Ultimately, your mother has done multiple things RIGHT by moving on after the death of her husband, standing up for herself against abuse, and bringing the family (you) in on it... All of which most women have trouble doing. She should be applauded, and trusted. Her judgement is clearly better than most in this situation, and it's your responsibility (IMO) to support her. To get into a pissing match about making her choose between her child/grandchildren and her fiance after she's trusted you and shown so much good will... I think that's pretty rotten man. I understand what you might be feeling, and don't blame you for wanting to get rid of the guy. But emotional gambits aren't the appropriate way to go about doing that. Go be a family, and enjoy your mom's company. She sounds like an awesome lady.
So what happens when Mr. Fiance' decides to down a couple and his less than pleasing side comes out. Isn't that going to be a pleasant sight for his kids to see? Some strange guy getting loud and obnoxious and possibly pushing around their grandma? Nah....that won't scar the kids in any way.
Some of the responders here might be right....nothing could happen and all will be well and good. But what happens if he does drink, gets abusive and causes a scene?