Originally Posted by tooge
Yes, my grandfather had drinking problems. My father did as well, but was "functional". And by problems, I mean, he had a couple of coctails every night while watching TV or reading, but was never violent or even visibly drunk.
I feel for ya tooge. Here is the dirty little secret about so-called "functional drinking". It doesn't exist and there is no such thing. This is what we call in the mental health industry as an "intellectual alcoholic". Just because you don't lose a job, or don't get a DUI or not violent to others, or drink gallons of booze everyday doesn't mean you don't have a problem with drinking. My father was just like your father. Never lost a job, never received a DUI nor was he ever violent BUT he WAS emotionally and relationally detached from the family and especially from himself due to alcohol. He just "existed" going through the motions of a husband and father giving lip service but never engaging emotionally or relationally with the family. But here is what the "addict" is committed to emotionally and relationally and that is the next "buzz or drunk" that helps them tune out or check out from real life and it's adversities regardless of whether they are an obnoxious violent drunk or an intellectual drunk. The alcoholic separates himself from the non-addict drinker in that the addict has gotten himself to the point from a "sub-conscious" to a "conscious" level of living and focusing on that next 'buzz' or 'drunk' almost everyday if not everyday thus his dysfunctional true love that he is relationally committed to is that vice alcohol/drugs. The addict is consumed by that next fix whereas the non-addicted drinker can take or leave the alcohol at any time and doesn't need to drink at all times especially socially. You find those that have drinking problems don't feel comfortable in their own skin when sober and need a buzz/drunk to feel at ease.
The phrase, "taking some of the edge off" takes on a whole new meaning now doesn't it