"Your honor, I intend to prove beyond any doubt that my client is innocent, and is nothing more than a minivan driving sucker mom."
"You mean soccer mom?"
"Oh. Um, yeah."
Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!