I will doctor potatoes to look like hand grenades and then throw them at his office if he does not select a quarterback with the first pick.
This assumes of course that all of the elite prospects don't have accidents with antifreeze, aids trees, Jovan Belcher, or other natural hazards between now and the draft.
Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!