Unfrozen Mormon Hawaiian Linebacker
"Ladies and gentlemen of the media, I'm just a Mormon Hawaiian linebacker. I was recruited to play football by one of your 'college coaches.' Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes all the questions thrown at me by reporters make me want to get out of my BMW ... and run off into the hills, or wherever ... Sometimes when I get a text on my cellphone, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts."