Thread: Life New Dating Megathread
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Old 03-18-2013, 08:14 PM   #133
CHENZ A! CHENZ A! is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv View Post
A little blog I wrote today.

My Dilemma

Does anyone else thing there’s a line to be found between “waiting and letting things happen to you” and “if you want something to happen, you have to make it happen”?

I so often hear from people that I need to just be patient and let things happen. I get what they’re saying, but what they don’t know is that I’ve been waiting for so long that it seems that it’s never going to happen.

At the same time, I hear from people that sometimes you just have to go out and make things happen. Whenever I do this, I always end up trying too hard, and then I get frustrated whenever trying too hard leads to the same things not happening.

I honestly believe that, at the very core of things, this is ultimately why I’m still single. I either wait and watch as other people end up with guys that I’m interested in, or I try too hard and end up coming across as clingy.

I’ve realized other past mistakes: wanting to feel needed, thinking I could change or “fix” people, changing who I am in order to be the type of person they want, etc. I really feel that I’ve hopefully fixed those problems. I now need to feel wanted, I’ve learned to accept people based on who they are right now, and I will never be anything but me.

This most recent problem, finding that line, is proving to be rather difficult. Do I play the waiting game? What if I end up waiting on one and overlook someone else in the process? At least if I go for it, I’ll end up knowing for sure. However, going for it typically lands me in the friend zone.

I get too comfortable with people too quickly, and I can never listen whenever I’m telling myself to shut up. I’m too trusting. I let people in on private details of my life too easily (apparently, lol). These are just part of who I am, though. Surely, there’s someone out there who’s able to look past them, or, better yet, accept them. Anyway, I seem to have gone off on a tangent.

Any advice for the relationship challenged?
You should definitely try the online dating thing. That way, what you both are looking for is out in the open, and you can't end up in the friend zone.
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