Originally Posted by luv
A little blog I wrote today.
I honestly believe that, at the very core of things, this is ultimately why Iím still single. I either wait and watch as other people end up with guys that Iím interested in, or I try too hard and end up coming across as clingy.
Iíve realized other past mistakes: wanting to feel needed, thinking I could change or ďfixĒ people, changing who I am in order to be the type of person they want, etc. I really feel that Iíve hopefully fixed those problems. I now need to feel wanted, Iíve learned to accept people based on who they are right now, and I will never be anything but me.
Any advice for the relationship challenged?
Stop thinking so much. What you said makes it seem like you're worried about everything, about other people, about yourself, your self image, how other people perceive you, about why this and about why that. Take it from someone who's dealt with this for his whole life: if you spend so much time in your own head obsessing about this stuff, you start to lose touch with the real world.
And it's not about waiting and watching, or about trying to make something happen. Because those are actually just opposite ways of doing the exact same thing. You're trying to force a relationship to happen. The difference being one approach is passive-aggressive and the other's more assertive, but in the end it's essentially the same move.
My advice is to just relax and let go and let life happen. Be open to things that come your way, and try not to stress yourself out.