Thread: Movies and TV Oblivion
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Old 04-20-2013, 05:35 PM   #38
bowener bowener is offline
Pioli is gone, which is nice.
 
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Casino cash: $5834
This film is pretty ****ing terrible.

Possibly it was written as a metaphor for Tom Cruise himself: A spectacle on the outside, and devoid of soul or meaning on the inside.

The majority of the film feels like a Tom Cruise blowjob. Just empty mostly pointless scenes of him doing his signature Cruise moves. Things such as close up shots of his face as he stares off somewhere, nobody is quite sure where, of pointless shots of his chiseled physique in a shower, pointless sex scenes in a pool suspended in the clouds (somehow they aren't freezing to death), he does some somersaults, some diving from explosions while being misdirected midair by another explosion, some expert marksmanship, aviator glasses, motorcycle riding, etc.

This movie is a mountain of cliches or maybe an avalanche is more apropos, one that crushes you with the final scenes of the film. I cannot express to you the frustrations I felt while watching this movie. I hate that I spent money on this. It is my fault, I saw it on a whim today without having read any reviews. Big mistake, just like this movie itself.

All of this and I haven't even bitched about how terrible the settings are. The geography makes no sense whatsoever. It is literally nonsense. I understand suspension of belief/reality, but there are just obvious things that should not be done. And yes, one of the biggest cliches you can find in most apocalyptic films is the view of destroyed landmarks. This movie will not disappoint you if you like seeing the Statue of Liberty torch (some how) in pristine condition, yet it is in a valley of (I think) ice and rocks. Jesus this thing was awful.

Fine. I'm done venting. Now I'm going to watch The Third Man so I can try and forget this putrid piece of shit.

edit:
Spoiler!
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Main Entry: boweĚner
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Date: circa 2007


Last edited by bowener; 04-20-2013 at 05:50 PM..
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