If you were a girl I'd say this: Get pregnant, wait til you're showing blatantly, post pregnant pics of yourself on as many websites, social or otherwise, as possible. Put desperate, but cute statements under them like "6 months and broke, what's an expectant mother to do?" watch the money roll in from friends and family, combine it with the state funding you get, then combine that with your child support from baby's Daddy. You'll be out of debt in minimum time and won't even have to lift a finger; just spread your legs.
You're a guy though so all that's irrelevant and you're just ****ed.