I've had a lot of bad luck with this...
Smoking hot high school girlfriend was staying the night and we're one wall away from my parents room. Water bed was making too much noise so we moved to the floor right in front of the door. At 2 ****ing am the old man blows the door open in his nut swinging underwear right above her head and in front of mine. After seeing who's feet I was looking at I slowly look up with her feet still on my shoulders too see a thumbs up and the door swing back shut. Never a word was mentioned about it, but I'm 99% sure he did it on purpose.
It was a late night at a high school girlfriends house. While watching a movie on the couch we worked into some dirty spooning under the blanket. We were a few minutes in when her mom comes down the stairs to tell her I needed to go home so we try our best to hold still. The fear of getting caught must have made her tense up like a ****ing nuns **** and my dumb ass couldn't take it. While trying my best to keep a straight face I had to slide out and squirt one out under the covers. Her mom had to of known what was happening because her tone went from "it's time to go home" to "he needs to leave, NOW".
Same girl who witnessed my old man's swinging rocks. Caught in the city park at 3am by city cop.... Go home kids. The very next night the very same cop caught us in the school parking lot.... Go home kids.
Lived with an attractive female friend in college who's little sister would come visit from time to time. Room mate, who's pussy smelled like ass, always wanted laid at 10pm on Thursday. What a ****ing pain in the ass, but it was good so I wasn't late very often. On one of little sisters visits she sent big sister to get pizza and served up an awesome blow at ~6pm but big sister forgot her wallet and walked in mid choke. She was furious and slammed the door and left. Little sister went home, but to my amazement big sister showed up at 9:45 drunk as **** wanting her normal 10pm Thursday plowing.
I was mesmerized by the most perfect set of tits I'd ever seen on my college biology lab TA. Finally landed the deal late one night and was going at it at her place, a loft above a woman's garage, and knocked a lamp off her night stand. A few minutes later her 80 year old land lord walked in wearing her see through hogger beast moo moo. It was an instant boner killer and the old hag asked her if she was sure she was ok three times before finally leaving. Even with the perfect tits, it took her forever to get me hard again.
I had to throw game at this girl for two whole semesters before finally sealing the deal. She was getting off like she hadn't had pole in years when about that time her girlfriend barged in the door yelling and screaming just as I started to pump a load out. She spun from doggy to confront the bull so quickly she caught the last spurt right in the eye as I was trying to crawl over her to get to my clothes. Pissed off lesbians get crazy WAY faster than straight bitches. In the middle of the screaming I heard "would you just let me get the cum out of my eye" as I was headed out the door.
I had been basically staying with a girl who worked nights. It was too long of a drive to take this bar whore back to my place so I figured wtf, I'll take her to the girlfriend's place while she's at work. HORRIBLE ****ing idea! It was hot and her face was a 2 so I had turned the ceiling fan on and lights off. Keep in mind this is one of those fans that go so fast you think they're going to fly off the ceiling and kill you. I wasn't watching the clock and unknown to me the girlfriend had came home for lunch. The bar whore was making some noise during some reverse cowgirl when the girlfriend comes busting through the door and attempts to jump up on the bed yelling. All I heard was her yelling and screaming come to a dead stop during a huge "thud thud thud" and her crash to the floor. She didn't just hit the ceiling fan, she had stuck her whole ****ing head in it and broke one of the wooden blades off. She was knocked out cold on the floor and blood was starting to run out of her forehead. As I try to stop the bleeding with a boner the drunken bar whore slurs out "is she dead?". Sitting in a waiting room of an emergency room with a furious and bleeding girlfriend you just got caught cheating on is not fun. To make it even better, while we were waiting for her forehead to numb the mother ****ing Dr. asked why she jumped on the bed with the fan on.
There's more, but awkward boners are awkward... No matter the situation.