79. big nasty kcnut
kcnut is genuinely one of my favorite posters on this board. Normally, you have to actually read a post or two before realize how stupid the posters on this board are. Nut saves you time because you don't have to read a single word of his incoherent ramblings in order to realize how insane he is. The first time I tried to decipher one of his bizarre missives, I felt like John Nash trying to intercept Soviet communications.
If you've never seen the big nasty, you can find his doppelganger helping out in the concession stand at any little league baseball complex in the country. Look for kid with the oversized hearing aids and the random shaved patches on the back of his head. (I'm not sure if those are related to surgery, or if he is just constantly trying to cut his own hair, but I don't know who to ask.) Fortunately, his hair is mostly covered up by the old-school motorcycle helmet that he has to wear at all times.
When he's not posting on CP, he's either handing people their Doritos Loco tacos through a window or putting together a political podcast. (The realization that this is simply a statement of fact rather than a joke is unsettling when you realize that his votes count as much as anyone's...and you know he votes.) If you ever want to send yourself into a coma but can't find a rock to bash against your head, you might want to consider giving him a listen. He is to Rush Limbaugh what frazod is to Alan Dershowitz. I guess it's a good hobby for him given the fact that his mom finally stopped secretly replacing the pet bunnies he kept hugging to "sleep", so who am I to judge?
Pros: Has amazing retard strength. Incredibly, he has never eaten from a package with a skull and crossbones on the label. When he tucks his shirt in, the bottom of his shirt sometimes pokes through his fly, and that makes me laugh.
Cons: Makes LiveSteam look like the Indian kid at the Howard Scripps spelling bee. Chewed the points off all my new Crayolas in pre-school. I thought that was a shitty thing for an eleven year old to do.
Outlook for 2014: I expect big things from the big nasty. Hopefully he doesn't get cratered in a drone strike.