[Sweet Daddy Hate]

68. Hootie.

Hootie fancies himself the greatest thing to evar happen to Chiefs Planet. I suppose if you consider getting an eternal STD that can never be treated or cured "great", then yes; he's the greatest. Hootie constantly regales this board with stories of drunken, fratty douchiness that lead me to believe there will be two possible outcomes in his immediate future:
1) Going to prison for rape and/or ending up a homeless alchoholic. Or,

2) Actually growing up, admitting he has a problem, and attending some 12 step meetings in an effort to salvage what is left of his miserable, roofie-dispensing life.

As a result of their mutual distaste for yours truly, Hootie has fallen in to the good graces of his new buddy Dane "Douche of the Year" McCloud. So Hootie has, in a very warped way, increased his social standing and buddy list on CP. Perhaps Dane and Hootie can meet together in Hollywood someday, where Dane can show Hootie around the "biz"(in Dane's case; how to properly fetch coffee for some Hollywood big-wig), and Hootie can teach Dane the fine art of narcotics administration to underage girls.
Dane might however want to equip the guest house with cheap, plastic lawn furniture for this epic, "two turds in a puchbowl" get-together.

Cons: Has sex with women/girls, and there's a good chance a bastard offspring might result, thereby dumbing down an already precarious social-balance in this Nation.

Pro's: Is constantly banned for his dumbassery, thereby giving CP a much-needed vacation from all things Hootie.

Outlook: will probably continue to be a raging CP-parasite until the local authorities catch on to his clubbing antics, and shove a few well-placed nightsticks up his ass.