Originally Posted by Donger
64. teedubya
Well, what can one really say about teedubya? He has a bubbly personality and was involved somehow in the SOC thing (I don't really remember the details, so it couldn't have been that impressive).
Claims to be a fan of the Chiefs and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, what really seems to turn him on are conspiracy and other kooky theories. Here's just a partial list:
Is hoarding gold because he believes that the collapse of the dollar is imminent. Unfortunately, he started claiming this about seven years ago, so imminent may have a different definition for him.
Believes that 9/11 was an "inside job." Completely rejects all debunking evidence and probably still would if he were a passenger getting stabbed in the neck by a guy who looks like Frankie yelling "Allahu Akbar!"
Believes that the Fukushima nuclear event was a catastrophe worse than Chernobyl and that hundreds of thousands would die from the radiation. Body count? Zero. Also had a memorable melt down during the BP oil spill in the Gulf, but not quite as bad. Stopped eating fish and shrimp as a result, which probably saved more seafood than died during Fukushima. He's not exactly svelte.
As a nice bonus, he also believed that Japan was going to "slide into the sea" during the event. I keep pretty good track of the news, but haven't seen confirmation of this yet, but maybe it got glossed over by Wimbledon or something.
HAARP. This one really is the pièce de résistance of teedubya's crazy. In case you don't know, HAARP is an acronym for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, a harmless radio program up in Alaska run by some nice military folks and DARPA. Anyway, teedubya postulated that HAARP caused the earthquake which led to the tsunami which caused the Fukushima event (see above). Seems reasonable, right? Well hold on sonny! He also theorizes that HAARP was also causing those pesky earthquakes down in Arkansas a while back AND is responsible for the infamous "radar rings." So, quite a versatile gadget, this HAARP. Of course, teedubya never gives any reason why DARPA would want to use HAARP in that way, which is fun.
Pros: Seems to be a faithful and ardent fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. May actually be clinically-insane, but that's common among Chiefs fans, so we are going to let that one slide. Likes sending very strange rep messages, including things about "having no soul" and "places in Hell for people like you."
Cons: I can't really think of any.
Outlook: Will probably have a stroke at one point when he gets all worked up over some kooky theory and end up immobilized in bed drinking his food through a straw, wondering if I'm watching. Just don't look under the bed, teedubya.
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