[ReynardMuldrake]

Actually just created a Reddit account just to post in this. Been reading forever, never felt a need to post until now.

When i was 12 years old I live in San Ramon Ca in the house directly above your condo (Canyon Lakes Country Club). I lived with my Dad and we saw you on a regular basis. You regularly came home, probably drunk, at 1am in the morning honking your horn and revving your engine to let the entire neighborhood know that your self entitled pompous ass was home. I was out walking my dog one day and it barked at you (probably because she knew you were human scum) and you threatened to shoot 'that godamn dog if it doesn't shut up'. You said that to a 12 year old.

Suffice to say, your complaints were heard by someone and the police came and threatened to take the dog from me, a 12 year old boy whose parents had just gone through a terrible divorce and whose dog was literally his only friend in the world. My Dad had no choice but to find a new home for my best friend and gave her away to a good family without even warning me (he knew I would freak out, and did). I never saw her again. I still to this day have never forgiven my father for doing that, or you for causing it.

I only hope the one day you realize what a horrible human being you have been and how poorly you have treated those around you and live with that guilt until you die lonely and miserable.

Seriously.

Jose, you were a huge dick to me when you came into Joe's Crab Shack in Tempe, AZ in 2006. You came in at our closing time and demanded that you and your group be seated in an already closed down section of the restaurant. We all stayed for you to finish, which took hours, because we had to close down again. You were rude the entire time and very demanding. You were wearing a baseball uniform and had two skanks on your arms that you would make not-so-sly remarks to about the crew/food/service/whatever. I lost any respect I had for you that day and don't have any questions for you.

Edit: I will ask a question to satisfy IAmA guidelines: Why are you such a dick?

I love trainwreck AMAs.