My wife is a witch. Seriously. She must be. That's the only thing to explain why she can hit the slot machines and I can't.
She got free tickets to the Beach Boys in Foxwoods a few weeks back but didn't really want to go. I made her. She ended up winning $1,000 on the slots.
Last night, I wanted to go see Dennis DeYoung at Mohegan Sun. She wasn't that interested but came with me. It was packed so I stood on the edges and watched while she played slots. I found her afterwards; she had a machine up to $300. I said, "Cash out and let's go." She ignored me and a few minutes later won $1350.
Me, I throw a few twenties at a machine, it sucks it in quicker than a ten-dollar whore in Tijuana, and I walk away five minutes later, broke. Her, she hits like it's nothing. Even when she's not raking it in, she can make them go for a long time; she played slots at Foxwoods the night before from 10pm until literally almost 4am, and still came to the room up a few hundred. It's gotta be a spell she's using or something.