When I was in high school, one of our special ed kids had a job helping out the school janitor. One time I was sitting in the library, and this kid came in and marched over to a trash can. The janitor was standing outside the doorway.
As we all watched with interest, he pulled the lid off the can, bent over, and stuck his head inside the trash can. Then he pulled out and yelled (in the library, remember), "Yep! It still stinks!"
On the Donger issue, I would go with just a regular bow knot. Simple, but effective.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
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