[Crush]

Blatantly stolen from Fark:

Originally Posted by Pocket Ninja

I've had a serious heart-to-heart with my computer about this game. I think we understand each other. I said, "Computer, I love you. I really do. But you need to understand that when I install this game, certain things cannot happen anymore. Like your cheating for instance. I swear to you that next time I attack an axeman with a tank, and the axe man wins, I'm going to throw you outside and run you over. And if I'm building a wonder, and I've spent 100 turns getting it built, and it's turn 99 and I'm about to have it and then those goddamn Egyptians just happen to build it THE EXACT TURN BEFORE I DO, you need to know that I WILL CUT YOU. Your cord, I mean. And I farking swear to god that if that Montezuma bastard ends up starting right next to me again LIKE HE DOES EVERY GODDAMN TIME I will set you on FIRE. YOU GOT ME? AND WHY DO I KEEP GETTING GOLD OUT OF THOSE HUTS???? I DON'T WANT FARKING GOLD I WANT A SCIENTIFIC ADVANCE. GIVE ME SCIENCE YOU FARKING MACHINE. AND HOW THE HELL HAVE THEY DISCOVERED FLIGHT WHILE I'M STILL TRYING TO BUILD A MARKET? GODDAMNIT I HATE YOU I HATE THIS GAME FARKING MACHINE JESUS CHRIST. OK 1 more turn.