Originally Posted by rico
Thread was dead when I posted my Direckshun roast... for what it's worth (written a long time ago):
Somewhere in the top 20: Direckshun
This guy is a character.
* I think Direckshun’s username is supposed to imply the word, “direction.” Considering the consistencies between radical liberals and hipsters, I’ve always just assumed he chose to spell his username the way he did because the man tends to possess a few “hipster” characteristics. If this is the case, I don’t get the "irony." The only irony I am able to pick up on is the fact that there seems to be a ton of DC lunatics on this forum who probably would like to put a scalding hot iron to his face.
* Direckshun, implying “direction.” It’s so ironic how his username seems open ended, for the “direction” isn’t specified in his username. As if there is any sort of mystery as to which direction this man tends to lean towards. In fact, the only “rection” associated with Direckshun that can be considered a mystery, is which gender gives him an E-rection. Anyways, you can figure out which direction Direckshun tends to lean toward, simply by spending a mere millisecond on the DC sub-forum. For those of you who still don’t know which direction this man leans towards, let me give you a hint: “It isn’t right. IT ISN’T ****ING RIGHT!!!!”
* It is a fact generally known by most CP users that Direckshun seems to have an obsession with the draft. Which is ironic, for if this were 1965, I’d fully expect Direckshun to be a draft dodger…and today he’d be spending his time mocking CFL shit. And if Direckshun were ever drafted by the Dodgers, his sole purpose on that team would be to stroke the pe….err, I mean ego of catcher, Mike Piazza before games, for Direckshun has semi-recently been very vocal regarding how enamored he is with catchers. “Catching” hits close to home with Direckshun, presumably because it can be considered symbolic or metaphorical in terms of the role he assumes in his own personal life.
* Despite the fact that I fully expect Direckshun’s eccentricities to eventually result in him doing something looney enough that will ultimately result in him being shunned from every school in the U.S.A. (with an exception of Catholic schools), he is, in fact, a teacher. So how has he spent his summer break so far? From what I’ve gathered via CP posts, Direckshun has spent the majority of his time playing soccer (and getting injured via twisting his knee in the wrong “direction” -DMAC), fantasizing about catchers and thinking about; George Zimmerman, Sarah Murnaghan, SCOTUS ruling on the Voting Rights Act, Eric Snowden, the GOP's immigration reform problem, the sins of the State Department, infrastructure investment, Syria, climate change, The Beveridge Curve, "The Five," GOP extremism, vol. XXCL, the Farm Bill cluster****, banking on "The Daily Show," and soda sin tax. Not only has he stated that he is “thinking” about these things, but he has gone “full rico” in terms of detailing his thoughts pertaining to every single one of these issues. It appears VERY time consuming. So time consuming, in fact, that I can’t help, but wonder how a mature, ball-loving man like Direckshun finds the time to find privacy, put his hand in his pocket, grab his tiny little utensil, grip his tiny little utensil and……draftabulate.
* I sure as shit hope you aren’t offended, Direckshun. I am only mocking you in good fun. Please don’t shun me, for I genuinely like you.
* Pro: gesterone levels that are abnormally high is what makes Direckshun the way she is.
* Cons: piracy theories that are glaringly anti-conservative.
* Future Outlook: After being shunned from all schools and while taking a break from creating mock drafts, Direckshun will post anti-conservative conspiracy theories that are fueled by the abnormally high levels of progesterone produced by her body.
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