shes going to spin this around on YOU the moment you confront her
she will turn it into the whole "you looked at my phone/invaded my privacy you creep" argument right to the forefront, and your goals and points about your family will be clearly overshadowed
thus she will be mad at you, you will be mad at her, nothing will be resolved and like someone says this could pull you two apart. Because I have never met a female (or anyone for that matter) that was okay with her private crap being looked at. And if this girls been trash talking in her private time, no way she will be okay with it either.
Good luck, no good way to go about this one.
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