[Chiefspants]

4th year as a middle school teacher. Both my parents taught for 13 years so I knew going in this wasn’t a career gig. I gave myself 10 years and now I look at that 10 years as my finish line.

The parents run schools these days. Funding has been eviscerated to the bone so now schools go to every measure to secure whatever scraps they have left.

I love my job. I do. Working with students gives my life meaning. My students have spearheaded community entrepreneurship projects and I often have 20 kids in my room over lunch designing real-life projects in Minecraft. I often have parents come up and tell me how valued I am and how important I am in their children’s lives - but these are the same parents spearheading the “vote no” campaigns to deny me a basic raise (I made about 10K more as a bartender).

As valued as my admin assures me I am, at the end of the day, the parents run the show.

One day during crossing guard duty, I was talking to my students about a school wide door decorating competition we were doing for the holidays. It was light stuff “we’re gonna win.” “No you’re not”, etc.

Out of nowhere, a middle school parent (I didn’t know her) gets up in my face (in front of all the students) and asked “are you a teacher here?”

I say yes, and ask if I can help her. She responds by asking if they let people teach “after graduating high school now” and yells that “it’s really creepy when non-teaching men are around middle schoolers.”

I’m sort of baffled at this point. A lot of my students are vouching for me, saying “he’s a teacher, etc” she replies by going “well, I’m an officer!” One of my middle schoolers replies by saying “well I’m an officer too!” And that really sets her off. She points a finger in my chest and says “if you’re a teacher, be less of a creep.”

Now, for context. The tag “creep” is about the worst tag to have on you as a male teacher. That is a tag that can follow/haunt your career even if there’s no truth to it. It’s one of those labels that does not need any reality attached to it. It’s akin to female teachers being given the “flirty with students” tag. This job is predicated on the trust you build with students, parents and the community - and if parents think a teacher is creepy/flirty, that tag will make it’s way into the work you do with students, colleagues, and superiors.

I waited until she walked away and got a colleague to cover me (my co-worker was LIVID) and I asked if i could speak to the parent privately. I showed her my teacher ID and said “let’s try this again, I’m Chiefspants” and she just kept saying “I’m an officer.” Her cheeks were bright red at this point, and I could tell my students embarrassed her — and she kept going on about how she was “just trying to do her job”.

The whole incident really rattled me. I was never a good student in school but got into teaching because of the impact incredible teachers had on my life. I’ve dedicated myself to the profession - and to have someone throw all of that dedication away with a split second judgement guided by ageism and sexism leveled me - and gave me a major appreciation for the type of sexism my female colleagues (I’m the only male teacher in my entire grade level) deal with on a regular basis.

The baffling thing is that no one knew who this person was. We were doing a drug sweep inside that day and the four officers inside had no idea who she was based off of her description. Not a single administrator recognized her on the camera either. My co-workers were furious - they all reached out to admin for a firm response.

But when they found out who the parent was? (A volunteer officer, btw) Well, she is active on the FB group and has 12 family members attending our district. So? “Believe us, it’s better to let this one lie.” This is despite the fact that this gal impersonated an actual officer and could have damaged my career for literally no reason (other than sexism/ageism I guess) - especially if she posted on the community page right after the exchange (which is a total cesspit). All I was asking was for my bosses to show solidarity or support, but that ended up being too much to ask.

At the end of the day it’s difficult to see myself (no matter what I bring to the classroom) as anything more but a cog to ensure students are in seats and that the school gets the funding it needs.

Displaced, I am genuinely sorry for the position you are in. Your time in the classroom mattered and made an impact. Thank you for all you did for students and I wish you the best in your new horizons.