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It has been many years since I waited tables, but I am one of the ones who made out great in the tipping structure. Worked at many places, a bunch in Westport, and then also in SF and Oakland, and just a bit in LA, and found the same to be true anywhere.
There are three kinds of tips, excellent service/good sales tips, hot/cute tips, and friend/regular tips. All three are available to just about any server regardless of gender, race, or age as long as you know your customer base and can read people well.
You cannot give the same service to all tables because different people want different things. Restaurants that train people to do the exact same thing at every table and script the experience annoy alot of potential good tippers. Business people want their needs met without much interruption, families appreciate a little slack for the few extra considerations they need, people on a date like anything that can make the meal special, girl friends often want to know a bit about you and connect a little, guys out are the same, and both appreciate good drink suggestions.
The idea that hot girls do the best seems true, but some of that is purely a confidence thing. Having confidence and carrying yourself well can go a long long way. I also never worked in a place that clothing was an advantage. Generally aimed for slightly upscale, the button down shirt and tie for both men and women type place, so low cut clothing wasn't available. If you don't want to compete with the hooters girls, don't work at hooters. Find a place where your physical attributes are best suited.
Anyplace you work, except maybe an airport or hotel, can afford any server regulars if you want to open yourself to that kind of relationship. About half the places I worked did not permit comping of any kind to customers, and regulars still come in. It is all about the bartender/server relationship and anyone can do this too.
I have seen all kinds of great servers. I was a great server. Most of us consider ourselves something like independent contractors running a smaller business inside a larger business. The bottom line is tips. To maximize the bottom line, sales must go up, efficiency must go up, and customer service must not suffer to do either of the other two.
I would definitely not prefer the no tipping restaurant solution as a server. I made more money than others because I had developed my skills.
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