[Sassy Squatch]

Originally Posted by frazod

Let's see, not quite the steaming pile of stupidity the last one, but lame as usual. At some point, during one of his rare moments of sobriety, Pootie should scribble the names of frazod AND Donger on a post-it near his monitor, so that he can actually continue his *theme* properly. Or perhaps Pootie has moved on from Donger? Pootie doesn't seem to like me very much. I guess that's understandable, since Donger seems to truly pity Pootie, while I, on the other hand, chuckle at the notion of his inevitable lonely death in a pool of his own piss in a boiler room of an abandoned industrial building. But I digress.

It would also be helpful if Pootie knew anything about the subjects of his reviews, but that's not typically a strength of someone so utterly (yet pointlessly) self-absorbed. Oh well. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

One positive is Pootie's continued ability to wrap himself in a warm little blanket of virginal dorks, Springer-fan lovers of strife, and people who feel sorry enough for him to pat him on his pointy little cyberhead and say, "That's really cute, Pootie, you sure are clever." Pootie the great uniter. Of at least 10 whole people! Still, you've got to start somewhere, I guess.

10 POOTIES Roofie'd a cheerleader - she doesn't remember anything! lol
9 POOTIES Mom sent beer/rent money!
8 POOTIES Raided the hotel's liquor storage! Free beer for friends/big stupid bodyguards!
7 POOTIES She left before I woke up and didn't steal anything!
6 POOTIES Hid from angry boyfriend behind friends/big stupid bodyguards. lol
5 POOTIES Hangover wasn't so bad this morning.
4 POOTIES Friends/big stupid bodyguards weren't around-had to cry like a little girl to get out of a beating
3 POOTIES Why does it hurt when I pee?
2 POOTIES Had to drink glass of would-be assailant's urine to avoid beating
1 POOTIE IT'S A BOY!

LOLOOLOLOL UR FAT