Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy
I have scoped the archives and found a hidden excerpt from the life of Hootie. For your pleasure, Hooties night with Sheena.
So listen up guys. Last night (which was my 50th in a row binge drinking) I decided to get off work and call up this one ho sheena. Well I called and she decided that we could meet up at Harvey's Disco Technasium to have some of their famous Maui Wowies (you know the awesome ones with the little umbrellas in them). Anyway, I meet up with Sheena and she's all looking good, but suddenly I hear a loud yell...
"Hey you, you little date raping ****er. You rufied my sister last month, gave her the clap and got her pregnant. We had to kill that damn thing in her stomach with fire because a regular abortion wouldn't penetrate the AIDS barrier."
Suddenly, I was scared. I realized that I had not brought any of my friends to fight my battles for me and this dude was at least 5'3, 120 and spitting mad. Thank God for Sheena. She jumped right in there popped him in the jaw grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We didn't make it but 10 feet when her eyes and mine locked and I knew it was getting ready to be pounding time. Since I live in an abandoned RV behind a bar we decided to go to her place. One thing lead to another and she turned off the lights and whispered in my ear, "we're going to try something new. I'm going to give it to you . I have a strap on, just relax and take it."
At first I was frightened, but then realizing how courageous Sheena was fighting my battles for me, I sort of felt obligated. What happened after that was an amazing night of purely anal bliss. Curiously though, Sheena never seemed to remove that strap on and all she wanted was anal--Giving and receiving. I was amazed how tight that thing was on her, but in the end, never gave it another thought as we fell asleep into each other arms.
The next morning, however, was another story altogether. That's when I put two and two together. Sheena's super tight strap on, her scraggly beard, and large adam's apple. Holy shit!!!!!!!!! Sheena was a man! No wonder I didn't have to rufie her! ****ing homosexual bitch done ****ed me in my ass!!! Any way to make a long story short, we are seeing each other more and more. She regularly defends me in bar fights and it turns out her real name is Clayton. It's so great to get past my shallow side and to get into an honest relationship!!
NOT!!!
I totally rufied Clay's little brother when he was at work. You can't keep a playah like me down! Fo Schizzle.
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I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, "I'd like a drink," I said, "Ehm - ok, I'll go get it"
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina