[BIG_DADDY]

Originally posted by Bwana
So I'm sitting here minding my own business, relaxing when I start hearing explosions over the top of my house. Aww yes, the unmistakable sound of bottle rockets. There is one rental house in my neighborhood, two houses down across the alley. It seems to attract loud music playing hell raising punk types. In any event, I get pissed off when this keeps up and go out into the backyard. I find several Bottle Rocket sticks. At this point I am left with three choices...

1.) Go to their back gate, call one of them out, beat his ass. This one is more my style and I would have enjoyed it the most hands down, but I would likely end up in the big house for the night and my wife would not be pleased when she had to come and bail me out.

2.) Call the cops and report the little fuggers. This one is just to easy and I'm not the nark type.

3.) It seems I have a few "bird bombs" left over from "the day." For those of you who do not know what these masterpieces are, they are in a 12 gauge shotgun shell and are basically an M-80 that zips through the air when you fire it out of the shotgun. They go about 100 feet before they explode. These are used by ranchers to run off the geese when they land in the wheat fields and are VERY loud.

I grab the 12 gauge, crack one of my house windows, line it up over the fence and let it rip. The next few moments were priceless! All you could hear were gems like "Jesus Christ!" "Where did that come from?!!"What the fug was that!!! Oh my God!" It seems I still have 24 rounds left if the little cockroaches start again. Bonus......I know as a fact they have no clue where it came from.

Outstanding job!!! You should be commended and rewarded with naming the local park after you. Keep up the goo work!!!