[Rain Man]

I was about to go on my jog today, and was sitting on my front steps adjusting my shoes. I live on a street with a fair amount of pedestrian traffic, so it's not uncommon for people to walk by.

Some old lady was walking by, and noticed that there was a piece of paper on the sidewalk where some idiot had thrown it down. I was going to pick it up, but hadn't made it down there yet.

She toddled over and picked it up. I said, "Thank you very much. I appreciate it."

She mumbled and grumbled that someone could easily step on the paper and slip and fall. I didn't think it was quite that dangerous, but agreed nonetheless. I was at the top of the steps sitting down (about 8 steps up), and she was at the bottom.

She motioned to my flower bed and to the paper in her hand. "You want me to just throw this in there?" she asked.

"Um, no." I had assumed she was going to carry it to a trash can. "Here, I'll take it."

She gave me the paper and then proceeded to complain to me about how my sidewalk is crooked and could trip people who are walking. She went over and motioned and mimed tripping and pointed out a section of sidewalk where there is seriously no more than a quarter-inch of height difference.

So much for a nice trash picker-upper.