[Deberg_1990]

Originally Posted by SNR

Saw it last night. Here are my thoughts:

Spoiler!

What I liked:

-The acting in general. All of the characters put forward fairly strong performances (terrible script and writing notwithstanding). I actually think Simon Pegg is brilliant as Scotty. Yeah, he's very nearly a different character entirely than the James Doohan-inspired Scotty, but like it or not, the original Scott is full of funny bits in both the movies and the episodes. Pegg's acting was the only thing I enjoyed at all about the shitty ****ing Kirk/Spock death reversal. Huge props to Benedict Cumberbatch, too. I knew he'd be good in this.

-It was fun. I was entertained.

-Getting a glimpse of the Klingons for the next films was great. I'm excited by the possibilities there, provided the producers don't take a massive shit on them like they did everything else.

What I didn't like:

-I love Star Trek. That being said, **** tribbles. **** everything about them. They're not funny, they're not charming, and Trouble With Tribbles is a mediocre episode. It's boring. ****, I can't believe that geezers point to that episode has one of the hallmarks of the franchise. I can explain that McCoy probably altered the tribble in Into Darkness so it wouldn't reproduce, but still. They threw a ****ing tribble in there to save the day in the end just to appease stupid ****ing blowhards who want more Trek references. It was like Abrams was saying, "Okay, look, I ****ing hate Star Trek, so you people want a re-imagining of it? Here you go! There's some tribbles! Happy now? Good, let's move on." And he did that kind of shit MULTIPLE times, including with the entire character of McCoy. Karl Urban was fine, but the writing for his character was ****ing awful. A trainwreck.

-Spock is a huge ****ing pussy. Being half human half Vulcan doesn't mean you selectively choose when to be human and when to be Vulcan when it's the appropriate circumstance.

-Kirk is an innovator. A genius. A rabble-rouser, even. A guy who thinks outside the box. Somebody who gets the job done. He's not supposed to be a raging ****ing psychopath with unchecked emotions. Same goes for Spock. Evolution of humanity my ****ing ass.

-The ending. It doesn't die. It doesn't ****ing die. Jesus Christ. Pick a climax and stick with it for ****'s sake. At times this movie felt like just one long extended megalopic chase sequence. It reminded me a lot of Pirates of the Carribbean Dead Man's Chest, except Jerry Bruckheimer wasn't writing a movie within an established framework of characters. There's nothing wrong with lots of action, and I don't even think there's such a thing as TOO much action provided the plot and the surroundings actually call for it. A run from the Nibiruians followed by a run from the Klingons followed by a run from Wallace's crew, yeah, you get my point. It's along the same line that many people have been making: Your actions should have MEANING.

-I agree with Clayton here. Abrams was endowed with the task of re-imagining Kirk's Enterprise crew in a set of new Star Trek movies. That means you can use elements from prior episodes and movies (including Kahn), concepts, settings, and even famous lines. I think he did that okay in Star Trek (2009). In this movie he said, "I want Kahn, but I can't just remake Wrath of Kahn... umm, I'll add a bunch of other shit to it... **** I'm still writing the same movie basically... uhh... I KNOW! Kirk can die instead of Spock in the radiation! Yeah! Now it's different! Oh, and tribbles! Brilliant!" That shit is lazy as all ****. JJ Abrams with this script shouldn't have made it into a piece of online fanfiction much less a $190 million movie.

That being said...

It was entertaining. There were some good parts. I have a couple of other friends who want to see this movie, and I'll likely go see it with them. Multiple times.

I was pretty high on Star Trek (2009). I liked that movie. This one gets a final grade of "meh". Too much lazy shit that got slapped together with JJ Abrams' own diarrhea.

Star Wars is his first love? Yeah, it probably is. ****ing moron. At least that body has already been raped by Lucas, so whatever "revival" he does of it will be hard to disappoint fans of Star Wars. They've already seen the worst.

I hated this movie! But I loved it and will go see it multiple times!