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I think the bigger problem isn't reading the messages, but the fact that you thought you should.
When facebook came into play and we'd heard some of the stories about what happens, brideowanian and I had a discussion about it. The answer is that we have an open book policy. I've never asked, but if I do, I have the right to read anything she has in an email, message box or text, and that goes both ways. To my knowledge, we've neither one felt the need to follow up.
A healthy relationship wouldn't contain messages that would be dangerous to the relationship. Bitching about your mother's shitty cooking isn't nice to read, but it's not the same as exchanging sexually suggestive notes with a coworker or something.
Do the world a favor and don't get married until you're both mature enough for that commitment.
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