Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
 No. Do not wish to read. Tyvm.
Oh, and no, according to the ad, theirs doesn't bite. I bet it will start once it gets into a battle w/ a squirrel though. The squirrels here in Nebraska are badass! No joke!
We have this one squirrel that only has 1 eye, (we named him Willy... yeah, one-eyed Willy har har). That guy came waddling up to our back stairs looking for a hand-out after a storm and his good eye was closed up, (probably got injured by the high winds that we had yesterday morning). We fed him, of course, (as we do w/ all of "our" other squirrels). Not seeing where he was going, he was able to sniff out the nuts and waddled away when he was done. Total badass!
I'm sorry, what were we talking about?  |
about the 1 Eyed Willy part.
Squirrels are bad ass. Especially the grey ones (in rural Iowa, anyways). The town I live in, which has a population of 1200 people is infested with brown squirrels. There are tons of them. Anyways, the story is that the over-abundance of brown squirrels occurred in the 1970's. The brown squirrels used to reside in a city 15 miles from my hometown which has a population of 25,000 people. Then a large clan of smaller, yet meaner and tougher grey squirrels invaded the town and took over the entire brown squirrel territory. So the brown squirrels hopped from that town to my home town because they couldn't hang with the smaller, more viscious grey squirrels. There are TONS of brown squirrels in my hometown, but when you travel to the city they used to reside in, all you see is grey squirrels.
Brown squirrels are huge wussies. While mowing, I found a dead one under a tree in my chained in yard the other day. Considering that the squirrel appeared to have no bite marks around it's neck or the rest of it's body along with my yard being chained in, it seems unlikely that it was killed by a dog, raccoon, etc. Maybe a cat? I know for sure it wasn't my pug. I remember seeing that thing and thinking to myself, "you wussy. Did you die by falling out of a tree?!" Maybe it died because of some physical ailment. Maybe my tree is the AIDS tree that I read about so often. Maybe the grey squirrels are expanding their territory....which would be cool because grey squirrels are bad ass.