[Rain Man]

I have to offer a German barmaid story. I don't remember if I've told it before.

I ran a race last Halloween, and it was in some city I wasn't familiar with. So I showed up early and ended up getting there way early. I was sitting in my car and got out to go check out a sign, and another car pulled up next to me. It was a female runner, reasonably attractive and roughly my age or a little younger. She asked if we were in the right parking spot, and we chatted a little bit and had a pleasant time doing so.

It was kind of cool, so we both had jackets on, and eventually it got to the point where we should head to the starting line, which was about a quarter-mile away. We went to our respective trunks and pulled off our respective warmup pants and jackets. I shut my trunk as she walked over so we could go to the starting line together. I looked over and just about dropped to my knees.

She was an attractive woman in very good shape, and she was wearing a very hot and low-cut German barmaid outfit. She said, "It's a Halloween race. Why aren't you wearing a costume?" It turned out that the costume belonged to her 14 year-old daughter, and she borrowed it for the race.

She ran 13 miles in that barmaid outfit, and beat me. At the end, she waited for me to cross the finish line, and I'm telling you, an attractive sweaty woman in a German barmaid outfit is pretty much the best thing in the world.