Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu
He sees it from the perspective of someone who has been through it. You see it from the perspective of someone who is guessing what it might be like.
I don't have a problem with the idea of having sex before marriage as a part of the process of deciding whether two fully mature adults are right for each other, but what I suspect you don't realize is that even after that sexperimentation, you still won't know how sexually compatible you'll be 5 or 10 years down the road. Nor do you seem to realize how small a part of marriage the sex aspect will be. Not that it's small, as in you never have sex, but that it's small in that there are other far more important aspects of making that marriage work.
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You don't know how you'll be personally compatible in 5 or 10 years, either. People change in a lot of ways, and nobody can say what a relationship might be after a period of time.
For most people, dating is shopping for a long term mate, and sex is generally part of the "shopping list" - finding someone that's compatible with you in as many ways as possible. I know I would never marry someone I'd not had sex with, much as I wouldn't marry someone with whom I hadn't had serious conversations about family, money, kids, etc.
And I fully disagree that sex becomes less important - I think that's one of the reasons there's so much infidelity, and may be more important over time, though likely less frequent. Sex is a way to retain intimacy and physical closeness with someone, which has a tendency to fade out. Maybe you're not getting it on twice a day, but IMHO, an active sex life is paramount to the success of many relationships.
My $.02...