I had to put down my kitty on Thursday....4-08-2010
She was such a good kitty.
16 years ago, my father and I went to pick out a cat for me out of the local Bengal cat breeders house. I knew right away she was special and RIGHT for me the first time I saw her..
took her home.....
ok to hard for me to talk about yet.
but, all in all she had a great 16 years of life. I'll NEVER forget her.
I'm still torn between the "Right thing for her" and what I wanted. She needed to be euthanized, but I was NOT ready to let her go. After about a year of wrestling with the notion of letting her go I finally decided to say my good byes.
when I read an article on the net Wednesday that reminded me "cats don't look to or understand the future, they live for the now" I knew. She wasn't happy and needed to go.
The past couple of days have been really hard on me. I haven't slept in my bed without her for 16 years until Thursday. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since Wednesday.
I keep telling myself, "She's just a cat", but that cat and I have been through a marriage, close death of that wife, a divorce, about 6-8 different homes, and finally settling in where I am now. We've been through a lot together.
I don't have children, so....she is...was....my daughter...my 16 year old daughter.
sorry for the long post, but I really needed to get that off my chest.
I'm sure the 21 beers today haven't helped my emotions any.
I'm sure time heals all wounds, but this one is pretty damn deep for me.