Here's a couple pieces of advice I can pull from my experiences :
#1) Start saving for College right now. If you don't you be in a bind later.
#2) Don't buy that Baby Gerger life insurance. Life insurance for anybody under 50 is dumb unless you live in Afghanistan.
#3) Don't waste your money on diapers. They cost a LOT . Just use a towel that can be washed .
#4) Don't go buy it a cute Pit Bull puppy.
#5) Remember that burping a baby means it's gonna puke all over your shoulder. EVERY TIME.
#6) When the kid turns 12 go ahead and force him / Her to drink a bottle of Tequila to show them what people that drink feel like the next day.
#7) If the kid likes the hangover go ahead and spend the money you saved for college on a nice car and go to the strip club.
#8) Don't have sex with your kid. It's against the law and you'll get labeled as a child sex offender.
#9) If it's a girl go ahead and get it a sex change before the age of 5. We know you well enough to know that you want a son.
#10) Remember you can always use the phrase "Do as I say ,not as I do"