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As an update, the tow truck guy immediately jump-started the car, so it's definitely the battery being dead as opposed to a loose connection. We drove to the local gas station/repair shop to see if they can get the battery (apparently it's not a run of the mill battery) and that guy couldn't even understand what a battery was, so my wife offered to take the car on to the dealership without me since I'm working on a work deadline. And Manning is throwing well in private workouts.
So I've concluded that:
a) my wife is cheating on me with the BMW service guy.
b) the battery is probably 5 or 6 years old and started with the jump, so maybe it's just a dead battery. The timing is odd, though. I bet they were using my headlights at the dealership to do puppet shows or something.
c) Manning would be a good fit.
d) There's a reason I stopped taking my car to the local repair shop, and now I remember why.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
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