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I started off dating this chick and everything was real smooth like...
She'd jerk me off in the back of my Monte Carlo and she was really careful not to get a drop of schlong nectar on my leather Chiefs jacket. Then before you know it, she's shaving my mustache off in my sleep and stealing all the buffalo nickels out of my Planters cashew jar. I cut a slit in the top of the plastic lid so I don't have to pop the top off every time I make a deposit. She used to let me dump a bottle of A1 steak sauce in her twat; then she'd queef it out all over our dinner plates. Boy I tell ya, porkchops never had more flavor! I loved that girl that a sister.
Then she goes and stops doing the fun stuff in the sack. We used to have Taco Bell races. We'd each eat five soft tacos and see who got the squirts quickest. Whoever worked up the bubblegut first got to hover over the other ones mouth and drop a pile of wet, red, cat food consistency ass soft-serve on their tongue!! I guess the loser of this contest was really the winner.
Damn I miss her.
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