I masturbate. This way I get to have sex with any woman in the world I want. Celebrity, coworker, 3rd cousin. Its a sure thing. And I can have it any way I want to and role play and everything. And afterwards I don't have to pay for it with the talking and complaining and nagging. And then I can watch football all I want. Wear what I want. Eat what I want. Its really working out a whole lot better than the 2 wives, 2 fiancees, and 100 or so nutbags I've dated. If all else fails and I really need the real thing I just drop a couple of hundred on a nice hooker I met on the backpage. She's hotter and nicer to me than all the others combined.
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