My close encounter with a big funny-looking dog.

[Rain Man]

My company does a lot of different kinds of work, and one of the things we do involves standing around on street corners watching drivers.

Sometimes they're busy street corners and sometimes they're not, and today I found myself on a very quiet street corner in a residential area in the middle of Colorado Springs. Other than the occasional car, there wasn't much action since it was a little cul-de-sac area.

It was my last stop of the day, and it was getting dark. Visibility was starting to wane pretty badly, especially in areas away from the street light I was camped under.

I'm standing there all bundled up because it's cold outside, and since there aren't a lot of cars driving by I'm thinking about other things like Cheerios and those cow things on the fronts of trains. At some point I snap out of my musings, and all of a sudden something catches my eye. About 75 feet from me, just a silhouette in the darkness, is the biggest freaking dog I've ever not quite seen, standing right in the middle of the street. I kid you not - this thing was up to my chest and was built like a horse. I couldn't see anything but it's shape, but it's head was down and it was dead silent and it was coming toward me, which are three things I don't want to see in a giant dog.

The car's off to my right at about 2 o'clock in airplane terms, about 50 feet away, and it's locked. There's no way I can make a break for it since the shadow dog is coming in basically right off my prow at about 11 o'clock. All I'm holding is a clipboard and pen, and there's nothing handy in the form of rocks or sticks, and I'm really starting to sweat. It keeps moving toward me.

Well, I start sidling to my right, and pull my keys out of my pocket, and just hope that maybe it will hold off until I can sidle all the way to the car. I move right, and move right, and then suddenly I end up with the animal between me and a street light down the block.

It was a freaking deer.

It came another 20 feet or so, and then wandered off to attack a bush. That thing had me scared half to death.

Originally Posted by Metrolike

Thanks for clarifying it in a friendly manner, bitch.

My pleasure.

[Hammock Parties]

I wonder what it would feel like to get your legs cut off by a train. Would you survive?

Originally Posted by UserName

I wonder what it would feel like to get your legs cut off by a train. Would you survive?

Are you up for an experiment?

[Pants]

Originally Posted by UserName

I wonder what it would feel like to get your legs cut off by a train. Would you survive?

In some cases people do.

In some cases like that German dude, they don't.

[go bo]

Originally Posted by Phobia

Only to your wife. Is your life insurance paid up?

no, i'm worth more alive than dead, unfortunately...

[Jenny Gump]

Originally Posted by Brando

Are the bells just a christmas touch or is her fashion sense as skewed as her waistline?

Roger that.

[Brando]

Originally Posted by JennyGump

Roger that.

Every time she walks by your office step up to the door and announce to everyone in a loud, commanding voice, "Last train to Christmas Fat Kid Camp leaves the station in five minutes. All rotund individuals with bells on their feet please board promptly."
I found that obnoxious fat people can be scared into submission. I work with a guy that goes about 400 lbs. He liked to make fun of the fact that I'm short. That changed when I started yelling out, "Go choke on a pork chop fatty!" or "at least I don't have to stand over a mirror to see if I still have balls fat ass."