North vs. South: - Page 2

07-15-2005, 07:18 AM

North vs. South:

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has double last names; The South has double first names.

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH ----

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store
.....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy.

Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a good day. Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song.

MOhillbilly · 07-15-2005, 10:20 AM

mmmmmmmmmm bacon grease and crafish mmmmmmmmmmmmm

MichaelH · 07-15-2005, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeepSouth

If all you yankees would just stay up north when you get old, our passing lanes would be clear.

Not true! There's always a line 35 cars long of under 65 peeps headed to work every morning cruising in the left lane going 10 MPH under the speed limit. I don't mind, I pass on the right.

I also use that lever on the steering column that makes the lights blink on and off on all corners of my vehicle when I make a turn or change lanes. It scares some people.

DeepSouth · 07-15-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coach

(Note: drinking beer out of the can
will lead to them being blackballed from the Junior League.)

Why don't members of The Junior League participate in Group Sex.

They'd have to send out too many thank you notes.

Radar Chief · 07-15-2005, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadmonkey

1. I don't drive a Prius
2. I think my Tahoe sizes up pretty well with what ever you'll be bringing.

Think so? Care to play some, “follow the leader”?

KCChiefsMan · 07-15-2005, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

Think so? Care to play some, “follow the leader”?

I'd take the Tahoe myself

Radar Chief · 07-15-2005, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan

I'd take the Tahoe myself

That sounds like a bet.
Wanna put your money where your mouth is?

Sam · 07-15-2005, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coach

TAILGATING:
Down South: ... (Note: drinking beer out of the can
will lead to them being blackballed from the Junior League.)

You know why Junior Leaguer's don't go in for group sex?

It's because of all the thank you notes they have to write afterwards.

Naked: Means you ain't got no clothes on.

Nekid: Means You ain't got no clothes on and you're up to somethin'

StcChief · 07-15-2005, 10:48 AM

BTW it's just Blue COUNTIES not STATES. A$$hole

07-15-2005, 07:18 AM
Electric Guest Casino cash: $	North vs. South: North vs. South: The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. The North has double last names; The South has double first names. The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. The North has green salads, The South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads. FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH ---- In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store .....do not buy food at this store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya" Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. Have a good day. Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song.
Posts: n/a

07-15-2005, 10:20 AM	#16
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	mmmmmmmmmm bacon grease and crafish mmmmmmmmmmmmm __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

07-15-2005, 10:48 AM	#23
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	BTW it's just Blue COUNTIES not STATES. A$$hole __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901