Seven Tips From a New Jersey Guy

[gblowfish]

On how to navigate Super Bowl Week in New Jersey, and not piss off the locals:

http://www.nj.com/super-bowl/index.s..._us_angry.html

To football fans, visiting media and other dignitaries arriving here for the Super Bowl: Welcome to New Jersey! And, before you gather up your luggage at the Newark Airport baggage carousel and dive into the first cab headed to Manhattan, we can be clear on that point, right?

The Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

We put up with a lot here when it comes to the New York name on things. We tolerate it with the Giants, even if they haven’t played across the Hudson River in almost 40 years, because they were founded in 1925. We accept it with the Jets, because given their lackluster history, not having New Jersey attached to them has been just fine.

We have enough toxic dumps, if you know what I mean. Hey look, I just made a bad Jersey joke. *

* Don’t do this.

But the Super Bowl? Not this time. Yes, the NFL decided to put “NY/NJ” on its logo and – of course – screw us by holding nearly all of the major events across the Hudson River. Yes, the official game program dedicated such a small fraction of its cover to our state, directly below the Lombardi Trophy near the very edge, that it could be mistaken for a smudge.

That’s us to the NFL: A necessary smudge. But not even almighty Roger Goodell can change the geography. MetLife Stadium is the site of Super Bowl XLVIII. MetLife Stadium is located in East Rutherford, N.J. Therefore, one more time everyone, the Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

Got it? Good.

So let that be your first tip to navigating the week ahead. You are no doubt arriving here with plenty of guides, maps and friendly advice to help you enjoy your big trip, so we’ll cut right to the important stuff.

Namely: You not making us angrier than we already are. So, with that in mind, here are a few helpful hints for your stay:

1. Yes. We get it. It’s cold. You want to complain about the weather, go right ahead. Just don’t complain to us about the weather. We aren’t the brainiacs who put the game here. It’s early February in New Jersey. We live in a constant rotation of ice, snow and slush. You want to talk more about it? Here, take this shovel and get to work on my driveway. I’ll be right back.

2. Get out of the #@$%& left lane. You might have heard, but traffic is a sensitive topic around here. Spending three hours at the George Washington Bridge just to send a message to a small-town mayor will do that to the most patient people, and we’re not that. So, if you’re going to drive 55 in the left lane on the Turnpike, that 18 wheeler three inches from your rear fender has our full endorsement.

3. Oh, about that building next to the stadium. Yes, the one with all the multicolored panels that looks like it should be the world’s large clown college or a failed experiment with giant Legos. It was known as Xanadu, and you’re probably going to wonder what, exactly, it is. We have no idea, either.

4. Go easy on the Jersey jokes. “What exit?” HA HA HA! Never heard THAT one before. Here, I’ll tell you what exit: Go find Exit 6 on the Turnpike. Then keep going for a while into you see a sign that says “Welcome to Pennsylvania.” Save the Jersey jokes for the experts, like Jon Stewart (he’s one of us).

5. Need help? Just ask! Just last week, in fact, I was picking up my credential for the media events when I made a wrong turn. I asked a helpful man at the hotel, and he replied, “DID YOU NOT SEE THE BIG SIGN?!” It is this spirit of cooperation that will make us superior hosts.

6. You will not out-snark us. This is a special message for my colleagues arriving for Media Day at the Prudential Center on Tuesday. If you’re coming all the way just to tell the world that Newark isn’t pretty, well, do us all a favor and take your sweaty Birkenstocks back to Denver and your coffee-stained flannel back to Seattle.

7. Try to enjoy the Jersey experience. We understand if you’re staying in Manhattan. See a Broadway show. Visit a museum. We do, all the time. But if you want pancakes at 3 a.m., or if you craving a scenic drive (honest), or just want to see where the real people live, come on over.

We don’t bite. Usually.

[Scooter LaCanforno]

Originally Posted by notorious

Well, if the "jersey shore" dipshits are the average person up there, I don't blame New Jersey for making a law to keep them away from gasoline.

The "Jersey Shore" Dipshitz Scuzholes Guido's (That's what they call themselves) are from Staten Island, N.Y. and Yes it is law that you can't pump you're own gas. Gas in NJ has some of the lowest prices in the country.

[Deberg_1990]

Originally Posted by Moon§hiner

It's true. My wife is from Jersey and has no clue how to put gas in the car and has no desire to learn how. Drives me nuts.

Edit, when we talk to family back there, it's usually 5 cents or so cheaper than Kansas. I think it has to do with liability insurance. Less if you have a certified employee than some idiot that has a smoke in his mouth like I saw yesterday putting air in his tire by the pump.

It's 100% true. At least on the turnpikes when I got gas there. The gas pumpers were slow as shit too. Defiantly in no hurry.



Another funny thing about Jersey are the Jughandle left hand turns. You basically exit to the right to go left. I guess it's illegal to make a normal left hand turn in Jersey.

[Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan]

Originally Posted by notorious

Wow, how much does gas cost in Jersey?

Less than it does in Maryland and you don't have to get out in the rain or cold to pump it.

It's one of the few perks to driving through NJ.

[MahiMike]

So glad I don't live within 1000 miles of that shit hole.

[scho63]

Here are 10 true and good TIPS from a Jersey guy:

1. Eat an Italian hot dog at Jimmy Buff's in West Orange-they were invented in New Jersey and are fantastic!



2. While in West Orange, visit Thomas Edison's home and lab museum it's incredible to see all he did
http://www.nps.gov/edis/index.htm

3. Visit the Pinelands-the second largest preserved area in the lower 48

Where is the Pinelands National Reserve and how big is it?
The Pinelands National Reserve, created by the National Parks and Recreation Act of 1978, includes approximately 1.1 million acres encompassing portions of seven counties and all or part of 56 municipalities in the southern half of New Jersey.
Who owns the Pinelands National Reserve?
Approximately 50 percent of the Pinelands National Reserve is owned publicly. This includes Municipal, County, State, and Federal holdings and facilities. The other 50 percent is privately owned and includes home owners, farmers, business, corporations, and nonprofit organizations.
What hidden natural resource is covered by the Pinelands?
Pinelands lie above the 17.7-trillion-gallon Kirkwood-Cohansey aquifer, which contain enough water to cover all of New Jersey 10 feet deep - and equal to nearly half the water consumed each year in the U.S.

4. Go to Colt's Neck and drink some Applejack at Lairds! Founded in 1780 they are the first in the US to produce apple brandy and even served George Washington



5. Make sure to eat a Taylor Ham and cheese sandwich on hard roll or English Muffin for breakfast. It's as NJ as it comes and you will love it. Don't settle for just pork roll-it must be Taylor Ham!



6. Drive East through Rumson on River Road, cross North over the Oceanic Bridge and return West on Navesink Road.
You have a good chance of running into Bruce Springsteen or Jon Bon Jovi, who both live on opposite sides of the Navesink River.
Stop and eat at the Salt Creek Grille
http://www.saltcreekgrille.com/home/index.asp

7. Visit downtown Princeton, it's a beautiful town and the train drops you right off there from either north Jersey or new York

8. Visit downtown Red Bank-another town with great restaurants, awesome boutiques, and a cool vibe with train service right into town. Ton's of young Wall Street'ers drink here and the hot chicks follow!

9. Stop at Rutgers University and see where so many recent NFL players came from.

10. Drive along the ocean from Pt Pleasant, through Mantoloking, Bay Head, Ortley, Seaside Heights and Seaside Park with a stop at Island Beach State park at the end. Beautiful scenery but you will also witness the lasting devastation from Hurricane Sandy.

Stay away from Atlantic City, Newark, South Orange, Paterson, Camden, and Irvington. All crime ridden ghettos that will get you killed.

[Rasputin]

I got a tip for the Jersey Guy if he ever gets out west.

[Gravedigger]

I kind of get #4. You go almost anywhere in this country and you let them know you're from Kansas they'll do the same tired ass joke, "You're not in Kansas anymore!" DUR DUR DUR!!!!! Never heard that one before and btw it's WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE, so if you're not from Kansas or have recently been in Kansas your joke is pathetic and doesn't make sense. . When I moved out to Pennsylvania and Boston they'd always pull that crap with the same goofy grin on their face as almost to say, "I'm so clever."

[NJChiefsFan]

Originally Posted by notorious

Well, if the "jersey shore" dipshits are the average person up there, I don't blame New Jersey for making a law to keep them away from gasoline.

Those people are from Long Island, not NJ.

It's about $3.30 for gas. I'm actually not sure if it is illegal to pump your own gas. People do it themselves when they are in a rush, but there are attendants that do it. I'm not going to lie, on my first trip out to KC I had to ask somebody how to do it.

Amen to #2 and #3 in the OP though. The rest is a little bit of over-hype both from people in and out of the state. Depends on where you are too. NW NJ is very much like the midwest, North East is the suburb of NYC, and South is a mix with the shore attitude mixed in.

[Dayze]

it blows my mind that folks can't pump their own gas there. WTF.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan

Less than it does in Maryland and you don't have to get out in the rain or cold to pump it.

It's one of the few perks to driving through NJ.

The pumpers must make their money in tips.


On a side note, it's obvious that I don't watch "Jersey Shore". Why do they call it that when they are from New York?

[ChiefRocka]

VS.

[BigOlChiefsfan]

Laird's Applejack and other brandy is good stuff! Oh, and be careful about calling everyone you meet in Joisey a 'freakin' mook!' It's not Goodfellas and they seem to resent it. Also - they have a sh*tload of bears running around so don't assume it's just an Oakland fan who got lost.

[Chief Roundup]

Originally Posted by MahiMike

So glad I don't live within 1000 miles of that shit hole.

Sorry but it is less than 1000 miles to East Rutherford, NJ, close but it is only 937 from Jacksonville, FL. You are only 887 miles from Trenton. Just saying.