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Old 09-24-2014, 09:30 PM   Topic Starter
RealSNR RealSNR is online now
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Late night bullshit: Direckshun is a slut bucket.
29. Direckshun



Welcome to the LNBS Lounge, where tonight Direckshun is the guest of honor.

These threads usually go one of two ways depending on the topic. If it's a football thread, Direckshun will lay out a detailed and well-considered blueprint or opinion that begins with something reasonable like, "The Chiefs need to get better secondary help" and will devolve into crazy bullshit such as, "Kurt Coleman is going to be the key to a successful playoff run at the playoffs." If it's a non-football topic, he'll project his real life cosplay interests into the discussion parameters. For example, he'll pretend to be a bartender who listens to your problems. Or he'll be the engineer of a magical train that will take you back to any moment in your life that you'd most like to re-live.

Tonight we're not doing either of those things. We're going to skip his stupid folksy-nouveau way of conversing, where you call a random stranger "my brother" or say "swing and a miss" when people say something that doesn't line up.

Tonight we're going to rape Direckshun. He seems like a nice person, but he frustrates us all in so many special and varied ways. I'd like us to share those Direckshun moments with each other, whatever they may be.

Since I'm supposed to be roasting him, I'll go first. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want.

1. Direckshun talks like a ****ing weirdo

Usually shows up as a symptom when involved in a political conversation with a surly opponent. He talks to the guy like he's a character from a Homestar Runner cartoon who is physically in the same room as the person he's talking to. "Pete. Pete. Listen to me. Stop saying words." He's also awful at insults, even just as playful jabs. I think he once said, "SNR eats whale dung." That's weird.

2. Direckshun never fights back

Direckshun is great for this forum in many ways because he generates content and conversation, especially in football matters. He's like a bad-tasting oral laxative when CP is having trouble passing football topics onto the front page. But he's got his share of dumb ideas, and he has plenty of people like Clay who will mercilessly tear into him even when it's not warranted. Milkman calls him a dumbass. How does Direckshun respond? "Hoho, you're probably right. I CAN get carried away with my mocks, can't I? I'll take your advise and shut the **** up next time!" He won't defend his idea politely or even leave a nice little "Blow me."

3. From the tone of his posts, you can tell that he's a stupid hipster

I've never read a Direckshun post where I couldn't smell the PBR stench in the wifi that transmitted it to my computer screen. Every time he writes something, it's got that shitty subtley ironic tone. The dolphin wearing a helmet thread? I actually like that thread. I love comedic false outrage threads. But when Direckshun does it, he somehow makes it... trendy. I could see him and his shitty beard (come on, you just KNOW he ****ing has one) trying to start some Rob Schneider catch phrase around the office or wherever the **** he works. "Because we're the Chiefs." It's even worse now because he's got all of YOU ****ing saying it. Now whenever he posts some awful shitty prediction, as long as it's glass-half-empty, he can say "Because we're the Chiefs" to justify it, and everybody will go along with it.

That's all I got for now. When I think of more, I'll post them and update this OP, because that's something easy and quick that I can do for any person who might enjoy this thread.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:34 PM   #2
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:35 PM   #3
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:36 PM   #4
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:37 PM   #5
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Direckshun you ignorant slut
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:39 PM   #6
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I hate it when people make animated gifs from scenes that don't have any action. What's the point of this? Why not just make a still pic?





I suppose if you couldn't see Jeff Goldblum's lips moving some people might get confused by the subtitles and think that the massive heap of manure was making a snide remark about Goldblum.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:44 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mennonite View Post
I hate it when people make animated gifs from scenes that don't have any action. What's the point of this? Why not just make a still pic?





I suppose if you couldn't see Jeff Goldblum's lips moving some people might get confused by the subtitles and think that the massive heap of manure was making a snide remark about Goldblum.
Be afraid of Jeff Goldblum. Be very afraid of Jeff Goldblum.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:50 PM   #8
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Be afraid of Jeff Goldblum. Be very afraid of Jeff Goldblum.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:43 PM   #9
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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Old 09-24-2014, 09:45 PM   #10
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Is that Alfs methhead cousin?
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:56 PM   #11
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Is that Alfs methhead cousin?
No, thats's Direckshun's furry cousin. Both are part of the Bucket family along with his previously poverty stricken (before finding that golden ticket), white-trash cousin, Charlie Bucket:

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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:59 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by rico View Post
No, thats's Direckshun's furry cousin. Both are part of the Bucket family along with his previously poverty stricken (before finding that golden ticket), white-trash cousin, Charlie Bucket:
That explains why Mr. Bucket wants you to put your balls into him. He must be Direckshun's uncle.

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Old 09-24-2014, 10:09 PM   #13
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That explains why Mr. Bucket wants you to put your balls into him. He must be Direckshun's uncle.


I forgot all about that.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:47 PM   #14
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I quite like Direckshun.
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Old 09-24-2014, 09:53 PM   #15
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